BE FIRM, BUT FAIR

You’re the first source of knowledge for your kids. It is your job to prepare them

for success in the real world. Part of this process means teaching your kids that

there are consequences for all of your actions.

You may see your child be friendly to someone and then make a friend. This is

a teachable moment where you can show your child that when you are kind and

respectful, good things happen. Valuable teachable moments also come about

when children do not meet expectations.

Hold the Line

If your child fails a test, you can implement consequences.

Consequences are most impactful when they have a direct relation to the action.

For example, it might not make sense to make your child do the dishes every day

for failing a test. Instead, it may be more appropriate to limit free time and

increase study time.

This is a good time to teach your child another valuable lesson: we must take

responsibility for our actions. Holding your kids accountable for their

actions will teach them to own up to their mistakes in the future. It’s helpful

to talk through the reasoning behind these consequences so your child understands why she is expected to meet expectations, and what happens when expectations are not met..............

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Why being a parent is so important to our children than being their friend.

YOU’RE A PARENT,NOT A FRIEND

As children grow older, they begin exploring their own identities. This can lead to a bit of distance between you and your child. This can be hurtful. You have worked so hard and you may sometimes feel unappreciated. Some parents try to connect with their kids by becoming lenient and acting more like a friend than a parent.

Though kids may respond well to this, it actually doesn’t benefit them in the long run. A lack of structure can lead your kids off track. As a parent, you’re responsible for your kid’s safety, health, and future. This can seem like a daunting task, but it is possible after you have implemented your values and expectations for your family.

Acting according to your values means setting clear boundaries.

Your kids will test the limits as they try to gain more independence. Having your boundaries in mind as they grow in new directions can help you remain calm and consistent through a tumultuous time.

Set and stick to boundaries

When children don’t meet the family expectations, it’s time to uphold your values, your boundaries, and your authority.

When your kids are testing the limits and begin talking back to you, do your best not to take it personally. If your child is frustrated with you, he may lash out in disrespectful ways.

Do your best to keep your cool in these heated situations.

Even though your children are unpredictable and emotional, you can still maintain stability for them by remaining consistent.

When you remain calm, your kids will pick up on this. Though they may be going through a difficult time, they will apply what they learn from you to their future situations.

Looking for more information and strategies on sticking to boundaries The 8 Parenting Guide Posts goes into more detail with more useful tips.

Creating a consistent household starts with values

Values are sources of strength and direction for everyone in the family. These can dictate the way the family makes decisions together. Values such as authenticity, honesty, respect,

and love can flow into every aspect of the family.

Coming up with values as a family is a great way for everyone to take responsibility for living according to these values. Over time, you can gather your family together and reassess the values you follow. As the family evolves, so can the values. You can choose values by thinking about how you want your family to function. What do you prioritize as a family? How do you want your kids to behave? What do you want them to value as they grow older?

Answering these questions can help you narrow down your core values.

Consider these benefits of implementing values:

Values teach kids to think critically about how they want to behave and navigate through their world. When you model what it looks like to live according to values, your kids are better able to apply these principles in their own lives. As they face confusing situations and difficult decisions, they’ll be able to look to their values and make an informed decision

Values implement positive habits. Instead of coming up with expectations out of nowhere, values create a source of expectations. This can make more

sense to kids. Knowing the importance of acting according to values will teach positive habits based on what they come to value themselves.

For example, if they value health, they may develop healthy eating and exercise habits for themselves. When you begin discussing values with your kids, you can show them how they can help guide your decision-making.

Over time, you can guide them towards choosing things based on their values. Eventually, they’ll go through that process themselves.

For example, if they value health, they may develop healthy eating and exercise habits.

Values help kids make decisions for themselves. When you begin discussing values with your kids, you can show them how they can help guide your decision-making. Over time, you can guide them towards choosing things based on their values. Eventually, they’ll go through that process themselves

Expectations Provide Structure

Children benefit from having structure. Though they may resist it at first, setting up family, the expectation is a valuable piece of the foundation in a household.

The best way to do this is by discussing how you want your values to inform the way your home works.

What does the value of safety look like to you? What do you need to feel safe?

Perhaps things such as curfew, driving rules, or treating siblings nicely come

into place. Brainstorm as many ideas as you can think of. You can discuss these

ideas as new situations present themselves.

Looking for more information on the benefits of implementing values The 8 Parenting Guide Posts goes into more detail with more useful tips.